I Want to be a Wall Vol. 1

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They have given me courage beyond measure to make this decision, and have stood next to me as my name evolved this year.

But this year, I turned thirty: I beat the odds, tread water just enough that my thirtieth birthday—a day filled with painting pottery, crisp, hot fried fish and chips, and very few tears—came and passed, heralding me towards thirty-one next year, thirty-two the year after, and so many more numbers than I ever imagined.Even if his new wife is certain that she doesn’t feel any kind of sexual or romantic desire for anyone, she nevertheless seems very happy to cheer on her OTPs in the BL manga and novels she reads. Constant questions about when she was going to start dating and feelings of being broken because she didn’t feel the burning need to date anyone reminded me of how I felt in high school. No missing or damaged pages, no creases or tears, no underlining or highlighting of text, and no writing in the margins.

As much as it’s not great for them to be forced to be married each other, it is so sweet that they get along with each other! When I read the premise, I hoped the book would fall into a group of manga that I have come to adore. However, one of the most interesting conversations takes place later on between Gakurouta and Momo over lunch (once they’ve been formally introduced and various misunderstandings on Gakurouta’s part have been dispelled). Yuriko-san doesn’t seem to feel a desire for romance or sex,” Momo says, musing about Yuriko’s enthusiasm for BL, “yet she loves reading stories about it. Even meeting up with a friend from high school and college proves to be a bit awkward and leads to a rather critical flashback where, at college, Yuriko finally meets somebody who helps her understand herself and it does seem like a relief that she has a name for the way she is.FL isn’t really the type to fall in love with anyone (she is a BL fan too) and ML likes fellas, he is in love with his childhood friend. This one also throws in a little of the ‘friend you had in high school who you were just like and then you both went in different directions’ that many of us have lived through. Credit where it’s due, the flashback that he’s given is also quite interesting and shows his increasing heartbreak as he realizes that his feelings towards his friend are a lot stronger than the ones directed back at him. In so many ways, I Want To Be a Wall relies on a shared cultural narrative of fitting in: it’s half of the appeal of the debut volume. Overall, it's a really sweet manga about two people who feel completely lost in the world trying to create a healthy successful relationship.