Naked at Home: An Older Woman/Younger Man Erotic Nudist Adventure (The Nude Living Series Book 1)

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And the male gaze is less laser-like on a nudist beach too, as men find their own anatomy coming under female scrutiny, for a change. The best thing about nudist beaches is that they do away with the usual “am-I-too-old-to-wear-a-bikini?

And speaking of bottoms, did my sis and I care if ours jiggled and wiggled when we played sunset Frisbee with nearby nudists on our final day? The most important advice to remember on a nudist beach is to slather factor 50 sunscreen on everything; otherwise you’ll soon have a hotter arse than Kim Kardashian.He’d clearly been inspired by those African tribeswomen who wear rings on their necks to aid elongation. For example, when I was growing up, skinniness was inniness, but today a full derriere is de rigueur.

I eventually got the courage to lift my open book to an inch below my eyes, like a detective on a stakeout, for a closer scrutiny of the tattoo art on display. I opted for a crawl back up the beach like a jungle commando dodging enemy fire, my face a few inches from the sand. But the lush landscape, 18-mile stretch of silica sand, crystalline ocean and famous blues music and literary festivals soon attracted A-listers. And splashing through the surf in the buff is an exhilarating blast of bliss that will stay with you for ever. I could imagine the tide taking one look at my naked body, going back out and then refusing to come in again.

Most of the female nudists were flaunting elaborately bejewelled vajazzles (glittery pubes) or a regulation Brazilian, which resembles a landing strip for a mosquito.

Then, just to be really kinky, I fantasised about other people putting their clothes back on as well. As an ex-hippy I don’t so much have a third eye as a third eye infection, but even sceptics like me can’t deny Byron’s healing, happy vibe.When clad in swimwear, we women are constantly comparing ourselves to a Baywatch babe or Love Island contestant. This barefoot lavish spa retreat stretches across 50 eucalyptus-laden acres with scattered luxury private villas overlooking the sea. Forget whale watching; my binoculars were on the lookout for Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman et al. I’d also been worried Liz was going to force-feed me Goopy Gwynnie-type bone broth with the occasional nibble of organic, nonirradiated, biodynamic, fairtrade tofu. What makes Byron perfect for your first nudist beach experience is that it’s one of the most laid-back places on the planet.